Category Archives: Atheism

The Salamander Song

A bunch of us went out to lunch during the conference to Voodoo Dog, an awesome hotdog place.

Last weekend, Shelley Segal was in town for a Humanists of Florida Association conference. She performed a few songs during the conference, but the really awesome part was when she performed after the conference. During this impromptu show, she performed my new favorite song: The Salamander Song. The sad thing is, though, that she hasn’t recorded it yet. However, Mark Palmer (HFA executive director and a friend of mine) was able to convince Shelley to perform the song for his podcast. So, here it is! The song starts at about 14:30 (but the explanation of the song starts a few minutes before that, at about 11:00). The audio quality is not the best, but the song is still very funny and totally awesome.

Also, if you haven’t bought her album, “An Atheist Album,” you can find it on iTunes and Amazon. *cough*gobuyit*cough*


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Atheists Un-Anoint Roadway… But Why?

So maybe you’ve heard about this already. A few atheists decided to un-anoint a road in Polk County, Florida. But why did they do this? Are they just silly people with too much time on their hands? Actually, no. I was part of this group of atheists this Saturday, and I must say, everyone is getting this story wrong. Very wrong. Let me explain how…

First of all, I’d like to explain why we did this a year after the actual anointing. We didn’t learn about this situation until two weeks ago (at a CFI conference in Orlando), at which time the current leader of Tallahassee Atheists, John Porgal, got all angry (as he does sometimes) and wanted to do something about it. So he did a bit of organizing and asked the former leader (who’s still a member) of Tallahassee Atheists to write a press release and send it out. I participate in the group and I was at the conference, which is how I became a part of this event. Now, to why we did this at all…

This whole thing started many moons ago, when a group called Polk Under Prayer decided to anoint roads leading into Polk County. Polk Under Prayer (PUP) isn’t just some fringe group of wingnuts. This group was endorsed by the Mayor of Lakeland (the largest city in Polk), the Sheriff of the county, and the Superintendent of Polk County schools.

Polk Under Prayer billboard

Lakeland Mayor Gow Fields, Polk County Schools Superintendent Sherrie Nickell, and Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd

And this anointing situation is not the only crazy thing that Polk County officials have done. This Sheriff has been on a vendetta against EllenBeth Wachs, acting president of Atheists of Florida and current president of Humanists of Florida. This is the Sheriff that arrested her and raided her house in March 2011 for using the title “esquire” (she’s a retired lawyer) on request for information from the county government (they had given tax-payer property to local churches). In May, he arrested her a second time (for noises coming from her bedroom… I’m not kidding) and put her in solitary confinement for a week. Oh, and this is the county where an atheist (current president of Atheist of Florida) was arrested at a school board meeting (for protesting prayer during the meetings). Now, keep all of this in mind.

In March 2011, PUP anointed all the roads entering into the county. On the website of  a local pastor (not part of PUP, but friends with one of the organizers of the anointing event) said this about the anointing of the roads:

A strip of anointed oil has been placed over all lanes of highway at the county line and a prayer has been given at each location asking God to bring them to have angels inspect every vehicle that travels into or out of this county and to bring under conviction to those who seek evil and we asked God to bring them to a state of submission and repentance. If they will not submit to God’s way of living, then the prayer is to have them incarcerated or removed from the county.

These actions and attitudes are why we did the un-anointing. We wanted people to be aware of what is happening in this county; in the fucking United States of America. The press release explained why we did this, however, this narrative apparently did not suit the local (and national) media. I guess the real story is too long and complicated. It also makes us look unquestionably like the only rational side.

The original press release follows:  Continue reading


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We Are All Sinners…

Brother Jed with Sparkles (

At least according to Brother JedBrother Micah, and Sister Elizabeth. If you’ve gone to a university in the US in the past few years, you’ve probably heard of them or seen them in person. They’re traveling preachers, and today (and tomorrow) is my university’s turn. They preach fire and brimstone and, as an atheist, I love it! They probably help make more atheists than Richard Dawkins could ever dream of.

According to Brother Jed, a woman should fight a rapist (“defend her virtue”) even to the death. He also told his story about how he had lost of sex in his father’s car when he was young. He also told several women (including me! I’m so proud) to be quiet because “the men are speaking” (but I think he says this mostly to shock people). Ah, Brother Jed, he’s so very entertaining (and a little creepy). He’d be less entertaining if anyone on campus actually agreed with him, but they never do.

Brother Micah with his "no porn" and "no homo" buttons

Brother Micah taught us that if a woman wears pants, she’s a lesbian! He told us that he was perfect and we’re all sinners. He’s perfect because he’s Christian; no joke, he really said that. If you’re not perfect (i.e. a sinner) it means that you’re not a True ChristianTM. These guys have really large egos. And, I can’t forget this part, he also sung us his “Happy Homophobe” song. While he is entertainingly stupid, I don’t like him as much as Brother Jed; he lacks charisma.

Sister Elizabeth explaining the 17 things that will keep us from heaven

We also got to hear from Brother Micah’s wife, Sister Elizabeth (or, as she likes to call herself, Saint Elizabeth; see, the egos again). She talked to us like we were small children and chastised us every time we used a “dirty word”. She did this when one lesbian woman said “I love pussy”. And I was forced to say to Sister Elizabeth: “What’s wrong with pussy? It means vagina. That’s not a dirty thing. Vagina’s are great!” (I also waved around my birth control pills and asked if anyone wanted a “free abortion” after she said that the pill is abortion. Those guys make me do the craziest things!)

I honestly don’t mind these people coming to campus and doing this. The university isn’t paying them and I’m all for free speech (especially when we can have free speech right back). And it starts real discussion on campus about religion (and it usually brings out the atheists). Also, it’s funny as hell (seriously, the idea of hell is pretty funny).


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