OMFSM! Doctor Who starts its new season soon and I could not possibly contain my fangirl excitement. Just…. SQUEEEEE! (I’ve been squeeing for a solid 10 minutes; I’ve scared my cats and my new roommate, I’m sure.) Anyway, watch this new trailer. Now. It’s awesome
Edit: I just found this (slightly different) trailer that I hadn’t seen before. Thought I’d share the additional awesomeness.
In the comments section of my last post, On Being Poor and Why It Really Sucks, Part 1, someone asked this:
So where’s the ‘donate’ button
I really appreciate people being interested in helping me (which I’ve experienced a lot of within the secular community; it seems to be full of kind, generous people, even if there are a few assholes). But this does bring me to my next sucky thing about being poor: accepting help.
Another thing that really sucks about being poor is accepting help when you need it. I grew up in modern American culture, which tells people that everyone can become rich, if only they try hard enough. So when you come to a point in your life where you’re barely even surviving, it’s hard not to blame yourself. I know I do. Any time people offer me help, specifically financial help, I have an overwhelming sense of failure. I’m very aware how stupid and unreasonable it is to feel that way, but when you’ve been feed the “bootstraps theory” (aka: pull yourself up by your bootstraps) your whole life, it’s hard not to internalize it. I even have a hard time with friends buying me a snack (there have been more than a few times that I was very hungry because I’d been away from my apartment all day but didn’t have the money to buy anything and a friend offered to buy me a snack only to have me turn the offer down).
Despite my feeling of failure, I’m beginning to learn to accept help when I need it. I’ve know for a long time that “anyone can become rich in America” is a myth, and others have begun to realize this too (as illustrated not too long ago by the 99% movement). I feel like I’ve come a long way on this issue of mine in a short time. I’ve even added a “donate” button to this blog (as you can see in the sidebar). But it’ll take more time for me to unlearn some of the things ingrained in me by a lifetime of being poor (even if it’s been a short lifetime so far). And until these things stop being a problem, I’ll keep talking about them
Some of you may not know this, but I’m really poor. I grew up in a poor household (I’ve got lots of great poor people stories! And other weird stories about my childhood). Now that I’ve moved out… I’m even more poor. The only income that I’ve got is financial aid, composed mostly of student loans. I live with my partner, who was working for a while, but he just got laid off, so there goes that money. I’ve been without a cell phone for about a month now because it broke and I can’t afford to get it fix (or pay the bill, for that matter). Also, I was just evicted. (My friends call these things my “financial adventures”.)
I’m a full time student, so that kind of puts some difficulty in finding a job. But I’m also very involved in the freethought community: I’m currently president of Freethinkers FSU, director of the conference committee for the Humanists of Florida Association, and now I’m one of four board members for Secular Woman. All of that doesn’t leave much time for a job (although I do try to make a bit of money by selling crocheted items). I know what some people will say (because that’s pretty much all I hear from my mother these days): “Stop doing all of that extra stuff and find a job!” I have a few responses to that: (1) It’s a little late for that. I can’t just stop being involved in these organizations. I can’t just say, “Yeah, I know I said I’d help organize this group and I know you all kind of need me to do these things, but… I’m out of here. Have fun cleaning up after me. kthxbye.” (2) These “extra” things I do are what make life worth living. My life would be rather dull without these organizations. My life would kind of suck without doing these things that make me feel like I’m actually making some small difference in the world (or maybe just in the lives of a few people, but that’s enough). And most of my friends are involved in the freethought community, too. Basically, activism and organizing are my recreational activities. (3) Even if I wasn’t doing all this “extra” stuff, I would still have a hard time finding a job. It took me six months last time I was looking to find anyone willing to hire me (and I pretty much just got lucky that time: I ended up working for the US Census). I guess my skills aren’t exactly marketable and my schedule isn’t exactly flexible.
But even thought I know all these things, I still feel guilty; lazy. And that’s one of the suckiest things about being poor. Everyone telling you that you’re poor because you’re lazy; because you’re not trying hard enough. And I’ve internalized that, even as I try to fight against those ideas. I’m aware enough to know this isn’t true. I don’t blame other people for their poverty. But I can’t help but blame myself for mine.
I guess that’s all I care to write about this at the moment. But I will write about this topic again in the future. There’s lots to be said about poverty, guilt, and class privilege.
I finally gave in and reactivated my Twitter account. It felt like a necessary step given the recent dramatic increase of my participation within the secular community. You can follow me if you’d like: @ThatAtheistGirl.
This cat has got to be the cutest cat I’ve ever seen. Seriously, if my cats are going to remain cute to me, they’re going have to step it up a few notches. I really should teach one of my cats to fetch. And because I can’t get the video to embed, I’ll also post a picture of my cat.
This is a Yellow-eyed Ensatina (Ensatina eschscholtzii). It’s a cool Salamander species that I learned about in a seminar this week (I also watched them have sex; it was pretty interesting). This picture is from CaliforniaHerps.com.
This is one of many cute pictures that I’ve saved because it’s just too cute not to keep. It’s from icanhascheezburger.com
This week’s cute thing is a Water Bear! Why? Because I think it’s cute!