Monthly Archives: December 2011

We Are All Sinners…

Brother Jed with Sparkles (facebook.com/sparkles11)

At least according to Brother JedBrother Micah, and Sister Elizabeth. If you’ve gone to a university in the US in the past few years, you’ve probably heard of them or seen them in person. They’re traveling preachers, and today (and tomorrow) is my university’s turn. They preach fire and brimstone and, as an atheist, I love it! They probably help make more atheists than Richard Dawkins could ever dream of.

According to Brother Jed, a woman should fight a rapist (“defend her virtue”) even to the death. He also told his story about how he had lost of sex in his father’s car when he was young. He also told several women (including me! I’m so proud) to be quiet because “the men are speaking” (but I think he says this mostly to shock people). Ah, Brother Jed, he’s so very entertaining (and a little creepy). He’d be less entertaining if anyone on campus actually agreed with him, but they never do.

Brother Micah with his "no porn" and "no homo" buttons

Brother Micah taught us that if a woman wears pants, she’s a lesbian! He told us that he was perfect and we’re all sinners. He’s perfect because he’s Christian; no joke, he really said that. If you’re not perfect (i.e. a sinner) it means that you’re not a True ChristianTM. These guys have really large egos. And, I can’t forget this part, he also sung us his “Happy Homophobe” song. While he is entertainingly stupid, I don’t like him as much as Brother Jed; he lacks charisma.

Sister Elizabeth explaining the 17 things that will keep us from heaven

We also got to hear from Brother Micah’s wife, Sister Elizabeth (or, as she likes to call herself, Saint Elizabeth; see, the egos again). She talked to us like we were small children and chastised us every time we used a “dirty word”. She did this when one lesbian woman said “I love pussy”. And I was forced to say to Sister Elizabeth: “What’s wrong with pussy? It means vagina. That’s not a dirty thing. Vagina’s are great!” (I also waved around my birth control pills and asked if anyone wanted a “free abortion” after she said that the pill is abortion. Those guys make me do the craziest things!)

I honestly don’t mind these people coming to campus and doing this. The university isn’t paying them and I’m all for free speech (especially when we can have free speech right back). And it starts real discussion on campus about religion (and it usually brings out the atheists). Also, it’s funny as hell (seriously, the idea of hell is pretty funny).

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